michaxl:

dilclo:

michaxl:

why am i not a disney princess

because ur a 15 year old boy

msjewbooty:

im gonna wear like 6 pairs of pants so people will begin to know me for wearing a ton of pants and when i get fat i will slowly remove the layers of pants and they won’t realize im fat they’ll just think i still wear 6 pairs of pants

meladoodle:

juilan:

My ears. They are ringing.

are u gonna answer em

pizza:

pizza:

i’m going to name my daughter casserole so then she’ll get the nickname cass and people will be like “oh, cass is short for cassandra, right?” and she will have to explain to them her name is casserole

i’m also going to have another daughter with the first name crystal and middle name meth for obvious reasons

selfdoubtandsyphilis:

dankestrnemes:

do animals think in english or in the sounds they make

this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for

I fucking hate it when you’re in such a fantastically giddy mood and then you see one simple little thing that makes you think, “oh” and then you just get this empty feeling in your chest and you get nauseous and the world just crumbles and you want to just lay under a blanket and close your eyes and fall asleep and never wake up. 

imthejesusofsuburbia:

the reason high school is so difficult is because ned never made a guide for anything past 8th grade

jaclcfrost:

if i was in a fictional universe i wouldn’t be the main character i’d probably be that friend of the main character who lacks supernatural powers or special abilities but makes up for it with sarcasm and really lame one-liners